I wrote a while ago about motivation and miracles and how without winning the lotto or some other serious miracle, there is no way that I could accept a place at drama school, Toi Whakaari or any other. Aside from working on winning the lotto, I have obviously been wracking my brain about other possibilities to earn enough money for at least the first year.
I know, I don't even have a call back (yet) to round two of the Toi
audition process but I better start thinking about my options, or better
keep thinking about them, now. I can't afford to run out of time.
Ideas, anyone?! Anyone?!
My thoughts have included among others the following
Be a walking billboard for a year: This director who went to film
school in New York City. To finance his ventures he sold ad space on a
t-shirt which he the wore every day for a whole year. Brilliant I idea, I
thought, I'm gonna steal it! But Wellington is not New York. Wellington
has a population of just under 400,000. That's roughly eight million
less than New York. Also, if you know the Wellington weather, you you
know that running around in a t-shirt the whole year round is a pretty
stupid idea, no matter how many layers you wear underneath. It's wet,
very wet, and very windy. So, good idea, bad idea, worth the investment
of time and money to get the ball rolling? I'm struggling to make up my
Get paid for writing a daily blog about going to drama school: Ha!
A full scholarship: Yeah, I've been thinking about and
researching this one quite a lot. I have searched the internet, I have
asked around and this morning I finally went to the Library to check out
the government's Breakout
website. There are 2200 funding schemes on that site. I narrowed down
the possibilities to 19 pages worth of general and fine arts
scholarships, one page specifically for performing arts. On closer
inspection, not a single one applied to me. None, nada, niente! The
German government hardly awards scholarships either, and - as sure as
hell doesn't exist - not for going to drama school. No ethnicity,
women's, parent targeted or even general performing arts or general
scholarship applies to me. So, I've been asking myself are actors not
worth to even apply for funding to learn their craft? Am I not worth it?
I am experiencing the exact same conundrum yet AGAIN that almost
deterred me from being able to spent a school year in the US when I was
16. My mun and my grandma scrounged every last penny together to make it
possible. It's the same conundrum that prevented me from doing my
undergrad studies abroad and from studying many of the subjects that I
secretly wanted to study. The same one that forced me to take up a giant
student loan to go uni at all, let alone to grad school. Not getting a
scholarship that one applied for - fair enough. But not even being given
the chance to apply for one? Man, THAT just sucks as!
So, what am I left with? I could book that lead role (recurring of
course) in a national or overseas commercial or series of commercials. I
could book a lead in big budget film or a series reg on an awesome TV
show? Right? I could?! However, I am not trained, I don't have a long
CV, and all of the above are few and far between in New Zealand and I
probably don't have to stress how incredibly competitive the market is, especially for female actors.
Does this stupid, stupid situation make me want to curl up in bed, hide
under the blankets and just give up? Yeah, admittedly sometimes it does.
This morning it certainly did. But I CAN'T! I can't just give up! I
have finally started something that I am passionate about, that I
really, really, REALLY want to do. I want to learn. I want to build a
craft, MY craft and I want to go get out there and earn my place in the
So, I am going to do a lot more thinking, and a lot more researching,
and a lot more shouting out to the universe, 'Please let me get that
audition for that big job and let me be fantastic and book it!' 'Let me
find someone who believes that I am worth the investment, that I am
going to make my mark in the creative community!' 'Let me find some
other way to take that place at drama school if - when - I have earned
Because miracles do happen. Because I am worth it.
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