Saturday 15 January 2011

Happy New Year

I've been a bad bad blogger. I couldn't face sitting at the computer for the past month. Although both of us would have preferred otherwise for obvious reasons, my partner and I had off work since Christmas week. Financially not exactly what we needed right now but for our family it was fantastic! So, my actor-self got side-tracked by my mommy, partner and gardener-self and to be perfectly honest it was very very easy to get side-tracked. There has simply nothing been going on. No classes, no workshops, no (official) net-working events, no auditions, no audition notices, NO WORD from my agency...

All this doesn't mean that I have been completely lax.
In fact, I have been rather busy. I have overhauled my CVs (reg & actor) and for lack of actual job offers have sent it out to a few people to hold on to for me until something crops up. I have organised my bills and receipts and tax returns. I have cleaned the house top to bottom (well, almost). I have weeded and sowed and planted and fertilised and watered my green friends out in the garden.

I should really feel good about myself right now. I have done what I could under the circumstances. Unfortunately, I am yet against my own worst critic and enemy. What is with us people and the self-loathing? Frankly all this free time, meaning family time, as much as I needed and enjoyed it, was not good for my head. Or actually it was excellent for my head as I the actress/writer/artist am now firmly back in it. How inconvenient, how annoying.

Instead of flagellating myself for my current (lack of - haha, I know - ) head space, I have started the year again being pro-active. Aforementioned CVs are updated and look, may I say so myself, rather spiffing, thanks to my amazing, multi-talented partner. I have progressed with my film script and come to the conclusion that I really don't care if anyone will ever read it or whether it will ever get made. I am satisfied with writing/having written it. I'm sick of putting so much pressure on me. I mean seriously! It's my first ever attempt at a script, might as well enjoy the ride and set a positive and encouraging precedent for the future, right?! I also have an action plan for this year and I'll let you know throughout the year how I'm going with that.

First point of order: Pull my head out of my arse.

Thanks for staying with me despite the radio silence everyone.

And Happy New Year!

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